They Can’t Guess Your Feelings
July 11, 2020
Jade Kerr

When I was younger, I thought people had to know on their own how I’m feeling. For example, whenever I got in an argument with my family and got upset, I expected them to know that and approach me. I believed that people should know what I’m feeling, rather than me opening up to them and communicating. That attitude has stayed with me throughout the years, even in my adult life. Unfourtenetly, it didn’t positively affect my life and got in the way of my future relationships, whether romantic or casual.

 

Woman upset because her partner doesn't read how she's feeling.

Getty Images/ Cultura/ Tino Tedaldi

 

Having an unrealistic expectation from others, to know what you’re feeling at any given moment, is only setting you for a disappointment, as there is no way they will be able to do so. I remember this one time in which I was very upset and expected my friends to figure it out. When they didn’t, I got even more upset with them, and they didn’t understand why. My sudden attitude put a strain on our relationship, and it was hard getting it back on track. As I mentioned, it didn’t only affect my friendships, but my romantic relationships as well.

 

I had a relationship with someone I loved terribly. However, when something bothered me, I kept it in and expected him to know. Slowly, things that bothered me piled up in me, causing animosity towards my partner,¬†and, eventually, our separation. A relationship I had with someone I loved and loved me ended because I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him, but rather expected him to sense something was off. At the end of the day, every relationship, whether friendly, professional, or romantic, is built on healthy communication. You must communicate with your partner, be open with them. You can’t expect others to know how you’re feeling every minute of the day, but be able to talk it out with them openly.

 

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