I am happy to announce that my boyfriend and I got engaged over the weekend! This wasn’t the easiest decision for me, but I listened to my gut and I hope it won’t fail me. As I opened up about my past experiences with the marriage institution before, you may already know it wasn’t a decision I made lightly. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about I’ll get you up to speed. I was engaged twice before and followed through with it only once. My only marriage wasn’t very good, to say the least, and I luckily spared myself some more pain when I called off the second. But this time feels different.
I know it sounds terribly cheesy, and as I recall I said it about my second marriage as well. However, now, looking back, I can see how different these two relationships are. Now, thanks to my current relationship, I can finally tell what a healthy and supportive relationship feels and looks like. My fiancé is nothing like my former ones. Our relationship and connection are on a very different level.
I wasn’t surprised when he popped the question. I found the ring in his drawer over a week ago, so I knew it was coming soon. However, the knowledge didn’t prevent stress. I was stressed about this happening ever since I found the ring. My mind wasn’t at ease. I kept obsessing over the possible outcomes of every decision I would make. I wanted my relationship to last but was unsure if it will if I happened to say no.
My boyfriend knows of my history and knows how scared I am due to my past. Yet, at the same time, I know how important marriage is for him and his traditional family. I was at a dead end. No solution seemed like it could satisfy both of us and fit our needs, which are so different when it comes to this.
However, when the moment of truth came on Saturday I knew what I wanted to say right away. Yes! The answer slipped my mouth before I even had time to think about it. I knew right there and then that this is what I want, not just for him or us, but for me too. I know this relationship is good, and I do not doubt it is going to last. I deserve to be happy, I deserve to get the happy ending I have always dreamed of.
So, I am getting married! My fiancé and I want to do this as soon as possible and we have our eyes set on fall. As I am writing all of this, I do not doubt that I made the right decision. So, I don’t hope, I know, that this time is going to be different. Promise to keep you posted.