Nobody tells you about how you can barely make it up the staircase with losing your breath and feeling your heart pounding.

Nobody tells you about all your once beautiful hair that will start to slowly fall out and how heartbreaking it is to find clumps of it on your shower floor.  Nobody tells you about that feeling you”ll get that you’re going to faint any second.

Nobody tells you how difficult it is go enjoy a dinner with your friends and family. Nobody tells you that you will never be happy, no matter what the number is on the scale, it will never be enough for you.

Nobody tells you about the immense guilt you will feel after eating even the smallest bite of any food.  Nobody tells you how terrible it will feel to feel your body falling apart and feeling absolutely no control over it.

Nobody told me any of this. All they told me was that I would look good in a bathing suit and that I would get more attention on Instagram if I was skinny.  I was told that people would take me more seriously and think I was prettier. I believed that it would make me finally happy.

But I never was. No matter what I did, I was never happy with my body and with myself.  Because that’s what an eating disorder is. It’s all based on deception and lies.

There is no such thing as a perfect weight and there is no number on the scale that will magically solve all of your problems.  I had to learn all of this hard way, by destroying my body.

Wake up people, eating disorders are not a glamorous subject. They are not a diet trend, they kill and they are a serious mental illness.