For many of us, first dates are not easy. Even when us shy people play a great extrovert play, it doesn’t usually work so well on a first date than it does in large social functions, The mask eventually falls up and we end up being super awkward. The key for me was finding someone just as awkward as me. And while that’s a super happy and adorable ending to my fairy tale, it would have been nice to have some advice about all the things I shouldn’t have been doing on first dates. It would have saved me a whole lot of unnecessary embarrassment.

First and foremost, you need to stop acting like it’s a job interview, because it’s not. It makes sense if you’re nervous, i’ve been there, we’ve all been there, but getting serious doesn’t help the situation. A first date should be a fun experience to laugh and test out if you enjoying being together, rather than a test on their failures and successes.  Instead of making it your ultimate goal to get a relationship out of the date, set your goal to just let loose and have fun.

The next no-go is taking about your ex. Although you’ve probably heard this one before, somehow it seems to always happen.  Make your mantra just like Rihanna’s ‘I want you to make me feel like I’m the only one in the world’. Talking about your ex can give your date the impression that your still not over them.

Another common mistake on a first date is not asking your date questions. We can get so nervous and worked up that we just start talking and talking without even realizing it.  Make it a point to try to learn about your date. It’s also important not to jump to conclusions about your date. Don’t automatically assume that you are compatible (or not). Let the date carry on and then decide.

Try to not get too serious or heavy on a first date either. For example talking about your dietary restrictions are surely interesting to you, but probably a lot less to your date.  And when it comes to your cell phone, we’re all addicted to our phones, but a date is really not the right time for it.

But the most important big no no on a first date? Don’t put so much pressure! Just chill out. It’s a first date. Just be present, enjoy, try to get know them, and let life happen.