What’s Our Title?
September 30, 2021
Alexandra Wade

In today’s world, we have so much access to so many things. One of the fields in which you can see it is romance. We have so many options – so many potential partners, a wide variety of dating apps, so much access to people. And, this variety and all these possibilities can sometimes confuse us and has changed the dating scene. One example of how it changed, in my experience, is in the definition, the title. People don’t rush to put a title on their ‘situation.’ The problem lies when one side in the relationship wants a title while the other one does not.

I was seeing this guy, and, from the beginning, I was very clear in the fact that I am not looking for a relationship. I was newly single, after a long relationship, and wasn’t looking to get into a new one soon after. At first, he seemed to understand and accept my request. But, as time passed and our ‘situation’ evolved, his outlook and feelings seemed to have changed. He was no longer content with not having a definition of what we had. He wanted to put a title on us, to label what we had. He wanted a relationship, for everything that it includes, not a ‘situation.’

He argued that everything we had, everything we did, were all the characteristics of a relationship. And, to some degree, he was right. However, I made it clear from the start that this is not where I am at or what I am looking for. Eventually, what it came down to, is that we were both looking for different things. He wanted a relationship, something defined and with a title, while I wasn’t. So, we decided to break up, and we each went in separate directions. To anyone in this scenario, I would suggest examining what you have, as each connection is different. Some would find a compromise, while others wouldn’t. Some would rather make more memories and spend more time with the other person, while others would prefer having a title. It’s important that you find someone who is looking for the same things you are. Otherwise, you are setting yourself for disappointment, frustration, and hurt – which no one ever wants.

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