When You And Your Friend Don’t Vibe Anymore
August 8, 2019
Alexandra Wade

As we grow older you lose friends, it’s as simple as that. As much as it hurts, it’s the reality. It is a sad moment understanding that the spark isn’t there anymore. While you were once the closest of friends, now you find yourself ignoring her calls more than you wish to admit. If you’re noticing that your plans to meet never come to fruition or when you do see each other you both struggle to come up with something to talk about, then you two may be drifting apart.

Most of the time, the reason for that said drift is life. Life gets in the way of friendships, it’s just the way it is. Your busy schedules make it harder to meet up as often as you used to. Shasta Nelson, CEO of GirlFriendCircles.com, a site which introduces women to new friends, gave her explanation on such events, saying: “We’ll feel like we’ve lost the chemistry, but usually it’s just because we’ve lost the intimacy due to not connecting as regularly.”

Our friendships are also tested during big life events and changes. Once your lives go in different directions, you’ll have a harder time finding common ground. As we develop and grow, we change, not only physically, but mentally as well. Our views and values may change and as a result, shake the core of your friendship. Seeing eye-to-eye can be crucial in carrying on with the relationship.

I know it hurts. Losing a friend is never easy. However, you need to maintain perspective. This is a normal thing that happens more frequently than you think. Nelson explained: “While it can feel very disappointing or stressful when it happens to you, it is normal for many friendships to only last as long as you have something in common—the same job, living in the same neighborhood, or your kids going to the same school.”

If you want to fight for this relationship, you always can. According to Nelson, all you need is: “positivity, consistency, and vulnerability.” Initiate get-togethers, do activities you enjoyed together in the past, try to look deep if there is a deeper reason for the distance. However, don’t force it if it doesn’t happen. You probably will never be able to get back to the place your relationship once was. I’ll repeat this again if I have to, but we lose a lot of friends along the way, it’s normal and natural. Sometimes we just have to accept it.

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