When Your Boyfriend’s Mother Hates You
June 20, 2019
Jade Kerr

My boyfriend’s mother hates me! It’s unbearable. I find myself walking on eggshells around her, afraid of making a simple mistake. It’s crazy and it’s unhealthy for me and my relationship. She just won’t stop mentioning his ex-girlfriends. She praises them and makes sure her son and I are always up to date on every small update in their lives (she’s friends with them on Facebook). She even went as far as asking me to help them get a job at my company, without even congratulating me on my own achievements there.

I get it, she loves her son deeply. It’s always been them together, as she was a single mother and he is her only child. Yet, I know I sound awful, but it’s time to let go. My boyfriend is in his late 30s, it makes sense for him to move out and be more independent and not around as much. In order to try and meet in the middle, my boyfriend and I agreed to spend the weekends with her.

However, it didn’t help. His mom continues to disrespect me. My boyfriend is also bothered by all of it, and confronted his mother. He insisted that she has to stop talking about his ex-girlfriends all the time and start respecting me. If you thought this helped, you’re mistaken.

I decided it was time to take action. Forget joint weekends. Until she doesn’t learn how to respect me and understand that I’m not going anywhere, I won’t spend time with her. And at first, it didn’t work. My boyfriend would return home and complain about what she said about me, apologizing on her behalf. I didn’t know what to do anymore. How could we work through this? And then it hit me. I just won’t pay any attention to it. I told my boyfriend not to tell me what she says about me. I’m going to be me, and she will be her. I learned that I need to be confident, and know my worth.

After a while, it finally happened. She called me one afternoon and apologized. She said it wasn’t easy on her, seeing her son in a serious relationship for once. His previous relationships were very casual. He never moved in with anyone before, never really considered settling down. I want to believe that it was my self-confidence that made her respect me, but honestly, I will probably never know. This woman is an enigma.

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