My dating history has been the center of many of my stories. Unfourtenetly, many of my past relationships were unhealthy and non-functional. The following relationship undoubtedly belongs on that list. I dated this guy straight out of college after we met at a bar. At first, our relationship went smoothly. However, after a while, the cracks started to appear.
I remember the moment I first saw the warning signs. Whenever we had a discussion or an argument, he would say to me: “Why are we even together?” as a way to end it. The first few times, I didn’t give it a second thought. However, after a while, it started to seem like a serious issue.
See, he told me he loved about a month into our relationship. Yet, every time we get into an argument, he dangles our relationship over the trash at such ease. I thought he was committed to our relationship, but it proved to me he wasn’t. What I needed, after the bad relationships I’ve been through, is for him to be committed and true to me. But he wasn’t.
Him throwing this question at me, made me think less of myself. He was questioning why he is still with me as if I am something he can through away in a matter of seconds. I need someone who knows why he loves me, why he is with me. I don’t need someone who is uncertain and is questioning our relationship every time he is frustrated. Thankfully, now that I am in a healthy relationship, I can see that.
What did he expect me to say? “We’re together because I can’t go on living without you, and because you are the best man I’ve ever met in my life?” If you need me to say these things to you all the time, and if you can’t make an effort to hold a real conversation, so what are we doing together?