Why I’m So Grateful For Every Breakup
August 27, 2018
Alexandra Wade

So what if i’m still single? So what if people tell me i’m getting old. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Isn’t that worth so much more than the silly judgments and comments of others?

It so is. But to be honest, it hasn’t been so easy to get to this point. It took a bunch of failed relationships to get to this point. At the time, it felt like it was the end of the world every time. It made me feel so insecure, doubt myself, and left me with the feeling that I would never ever find someone.

And although today I still don’t know what’s waiting for me in my future, I’ve learned to stop stressing about what could have been or what might be.  All of my failed relationships are exactly what I needed to break my heart open, to find myself on the deepest level possible, and to both face and health emotional traumas that I honestly didn’t know existed.

Basically, failed relationships are the best thing that ever happened to me. They are all truly a blessing, and they can be for you too. All you’ve got to is change your perspective and start some serious self-reflection.

Through every relationship that didn’t work out, I learned that there is absolutely no shame in wanting love, as well as wanting to give love. Why do we feel guilty and embarrassed for craving such a natural, beautiful thing?  I should not be ashamed for wanting to have a loving, monogamous relationship.

I also learned that even if someone may be our soulmate, they aren’t always meant to stay in our lives forever.  Soulmates do exist, but sometimes they enter our lives at a specific time in our lives, for a particular goal. They challenge us and help us grow, but it doesn’t mean they are our ideal partner for life.  No matter how hard you try, you can’t force someone to have the same mindset as you do.

I’ve also learned the importance is authenticity. Being yourself is being powerful. There is nothing more attractive than confidence.  And there’s no way to truly be confident if you’re not acting as your true self.  Give up on trying to be someone else to get them to like you.

And last, but certainly not least, I learned after all these relationships, that as much as thought they were making me happy at the time, I am the ultimate source of my happiness.  Having a partner will not define whether or not you’re happy.  Only you can truly bring yourself happiness.  Let them share your happiness and add to it, but not be your happiness.

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