The thought of a long-distance relationship never comes with positive connotations. Yeah, sure, it’s cute We feel bad for our friend who’s going through one, and tell ourselves that we would NEVER get into one. Sometimes though, we can’t control fate. We fall in love right before a big trip or move. Happens, and it’s super hard to be far away from the one we love and have to miss them so much.

But truth be told, long-distance relationships are a hell of a lot harder than you all think. It’s not just about missing each other. It comes with so many other emotions. Not only do we miss our partners, but oftentimes we don’t even know when we will see them next. It can make us feel completely hopeless, and stupid for waiting for them. It can make us doubt ourselves and question if all this pain is really worth it. We tell ourselves that we trust them, but deep down, the distance will always create some internal fear. Sometimes, with time differences and busy schedules, it can be impossible to speak on a regular basis, constantly missing each other’s calls, worrying and getting angry when they didn’t call or text, and not understanding why we weren’t important enough to be made a priority.

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At the same time, we’re also trying to establish ourselves and our independence, and show our long distance partners how well we’re doing and that we aren’t spending our entire day crying and thinking about them. But all we really want to do is talk to them all day. There are also a few things worse than going to bed alone after getting used to having your partner around. We can always hug a pillow, but it’s really not even close to the same. Our friends are tired of hearing about it and simply don’t get it. They tell you to move on and get over it. Regardless of the circumstances and reasons for which one of you left to a different place, it can be hard to truly accept that our partner chose something or somewhere else over being with us. It can be really hard to separate the two and understand that sometimes, it has nothing to do with us.