For some reason, there is an expectation that we should appear strong, all together, and healed after a break-up. We worry about the way we will appear if, by some chance, we might run into our ex on the street. We put on a front and try to convince others, and maybe most of all ourselves, that we are all better now and that we have it all figured out. Even around people that are close to us, at least with me, I want to maintain the appearance that I am unbothered so that I wouldn’t put a burden on them or disturb them in some way. I know that this state of mind isn’t the most healthy one, and over the years, I have improved – especially as I found out that making it look easy is anything but easy.
When you try to prove to others that you are unbothered or affected by real, hurtful, reality-changing events, you leave out an extremely significant part of your life – out of them. These are feelings and events that most of us, if not all of us, will encounter throughout our lives. We should be able to explore these emotions and share them with the people closest to us. Going through a breakup, saying goodbye to a person you loved, cared for, and invested in, is already hard enough without hiding and sweeping it under the rug. Opening up to others and sharing your experiences with them helps you with healing and making things easier. You don’t have to hide your feelings and sugar-coat your reality, as this will make things even harder for you. There is no reason for you to hide your feelings and having to deal with them alone. One of the hardest things about a breakup is making it look easy. So, don’t. Open up, let people in, and make looking easy easier.