You Just Had To Stay
June 10, 2020
Alexandra Wade

I loved you more than words can describe. I put you first, above everything and everyone else, above even myself. It was unhealthy, I know. But, I felt that you did the same for me. We’ve gone through so much together, stuck together in the good and the bad. I had such high hopes for us; I even thought we were endgame. You, on the other hand, begged to differ. You led me on and hurt me deeply, and the day you left, is a day I’ll never be able to forget.

Getty Images/ PhotoAlto Agency RF Collections/ Frederic Cirou

You just got up and left me. Didn’t leave anything behind but a note trying to explain your action. You wrote to me that you felt unfulfilled and needed to get out there again to feel some excitement and thrill. You concluded it with an “I love you.” Reading it, at that moment, I don’t know what took over me, but I started laughing hysterically. That statement just seemed so forced and disingenuous. You didn’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t have done what you did. If you truly loved me, you would have explained yourself, you would have talked to me and face me. But you were a coward.

So, you can imagine my surprise when you reached out to me again recently. You told me that everything that you thought you wanted outside was nothing compared to what you and I had. You told me that you were blind and a fool. All I could think about was that if our relationship meant so much to you, why did you treat it like it was nothing? Treat me like I was nothing? I loved you so much. All you had to do was stay. You want what we had but now, but you can’t have it. I want to believe you when you say you’ve changed, but even if you have, it doesn’t make a difference. There is nothing you can do to fix it now. You just had to stay back then.

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