Who hasn’t encountered this phrase? I know I have, at least twice. Unlike what you might think, it doesn’t soften the blow. Saying to someone “I’m not good enough for you” is a cop-out. It’s just another way to distance yourself, make excuses, to not take responsibility. It’s just another way of saying that you are not willing to walk the extra mile for me.

I don’t understand what you think you’re accomplishing when you say this sentence to me. I would much rather you’ll tell me the truth because it will hurt less. But more than being honest with me, be honest with yourself. If you don’t find me attractive, I would rather you’d admit it. If you have someone else, I would rather you’d tell me. If you are no longer interested, let me know.

Don’t try to spin me and make yourself look like the good guy – it doesn’t work. While you might think you are doing me a favor, letting me down easy and helping me, you’re not. I am still left heartbroken and confused. There is no nice way of being turned down. If you might think that taking the blame will allow me to let go, you’re wrong. I’ll look obsessively for a reason, and will most likely blame myself.

Besides, I am more than capable of determining whether or not you are enough for me. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t have stayed. I loved you, cared for you, and respected you, but you couldn’t return the courtesy and tell me the truth. I know what I want (and who I want), and more than capable of making my own decisions, so give me some credit and don’t condescend me.

So, at the end of the day, you might be right. You really aren’t good enough for me. Because if you were, you would have known better.